Me, that is. Don’t know what’s been up with me the last couple of days. I’ve been grouchy, tearful, snappy, ungrateful, grumpy. And that’s only the ones I admit too. I think I also have a cold brewing. Again.

Anyway, yesterday I was really miserable, and was completely unable to avoid sharing it around. I missed most of the morning, made Hannah cry for something trivial, shouted at Bob, and then we went to Glasgow. Hannah needs new running spikes (who said athletics was a cheap hobby?). However we were completely unable to find a pair wide enough for her in a size 8. (!!)  I think probably the best thing is to put them on the US list for purchase there, but it didn’t stop her having a strop when I told her she would need to manage with her road running shoes for the next two weeks. Then I told her she was an ungrateful little madam for whinging about that, and I didn’t care if they slowed her down, she was lucky to have several pairs of training shoes. Nice. You get the picture. All the things I said I would never say to a child of mine.  THEN we had another strop from both of us, as she said if she couldn’t get spikes, she would use her netball shoes. I said no, they were indoor court shoes, and she wasn’t wrecking them in a long jump pit. She said they were hers, I said that may be the case, but I paid for them. And on and on and on. I don’t know what got into me, I rounded it off with a “don’t you dare talk to me like that”, and her spirited reply was “and don’t YOU dare talk to me like that”. Which made me feel slightly better, that I hadn’t completely crushed her spirit with my bad temper.

We’d made it up by evening, but I still felt really horrible (“ill horrible or just inside horrible?” asked Hannah). Inside horrible 😦

I was determined today would be better, so we were up and out at 8am to take my car to be serviced, and then we went for a long walk along the beach, and had a long discussion about equality, politics, child protection law, and HIV. We were just about at the furthest point, and Hannah was really struggling (oops, she IS still recovering from tonsilitis, I guess), so we stopped for hot chocolate and mallows. According to my pedometer, we’d walked 12k by the time we got home.

This afternoon, Hannah has got back into doing some work, the first she has really felt up to for ages. She did some maths, we played a French word game, she did some drawing, I think, and read some history stuff.  I’ve caught up with the laundry mountain, done some writing for a contract, and we are going to play ready steady cook with whatever is in the fridge, before Guides.



  1. HelenHaricot said

    hugs for both of you. a bit more sun and a bit less virus/bacteria will make everything better.

  2. layla said

    Sounds like me last week – I made Si come home because I was being far too horrible to be in charge of children.

  3. Roslyn said

    Love and hugs from me. I hate when I’m a bitch for no apparent reason.

    Sod the carbon footprint, you lot need a bit of sun and fun 🙂

    Trainers are MUCH cheaper in the states and much nicer.

  4. Sarah said

    Yeah, what they said. Very reassuring in some ways though to hear that someone else has the same sorts of interludes that we do.

  5. Ali said

    It’s horrid to feel ‘inside horrid’ – I wish I didn’t know it as well as I do, but I guess most of us have it now and then.
    Hope the sunshine will sort out these lurking bugs for you.

  6. Elaine said

    I think ‘cos children are constantly growing that these sessions are merely a means of identifying which stage of the parent child relationship we are at , after all they begin life with us in total control and a process has to be gone through that takes us to the point where they are determining where they go in life.
    The ‘inside horrible’ comes everytime , it is a self-control mechanism.
    Have you spotted that we get the horrible but they don’t? I think because they have moved forward a step wheras we have relinquished a little more of our child to the adult world.
    Now none of that makes sense I suppose but I know what I am trying to say 🙂

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