Mother lion

We’ve had a bit of an upset here. DD loves Guides, and has been going for about a year. However, I’ve noticed the last month or so she’s been coming home in a foul mood, although she wouldn’t say what was wrong.

Yesterday she asked me if bullying meant you were being hit, or could it be other things as well, and after a long and coaxing conversation, it turns out that three girls from Guides have been getting her by herself in the toilet, kitchen area etc, and having a go at her about HE “it must mean you are stupid, you’ll never get a job, you won’t have any friends, everyone hates you because you don’t go to school etc etc” I still feel like crying when I write it.

Anyway, we looked at all the options, and she rejected a few: not going back, changing her night etc; and decided that first she would try to deal with it by herself, and that I would go to the door to pick her up tonight, rather than staying in the car, and if she hadn’t had any success with them, then she would tell me at the end, and I would go in and have a word with the leader. So the afternoon was spent role playing possible ways for her to respond to them.

I felt sick the entire time she was at Guides in the evening, and when she came out she was ashen, and asked me to go in. Fortunately that leader was great, and in fact she had noticed tonight that they had followed DD out of the room, and she had gone and brought them back, and told them off. She told dd that in fact one of the girls mothers had bullied HER when she was at guides as a kid. I still feel ill, though, and they are meant to be going away all day on Saturday for their Xmas day out, and I’m really worried about her having to cope all day with them, though Christine says she will ensure that they don’t get near her. She did say that the next step for her would be to remove the girls from Guides, and that for all sorts of other reasons, she would be happy to do that if necessary. But, just argh! My bright, brave, smart wee girl, she’s had so much crap in her life already, and these little shits!! I could slap them all.

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11 Comments »

  1. Elaine said

    Yet again we have children being given ammo by parents ( cos lets face it kids do not when hearing about home ed automatically think ”ooo they will never get a job” they would naturally in most cases think ”oh wow I wanna do that” ) No these kids go home say ”so and so doesnt have to go to school why do I?” and the parents horrified at the thought of spending time and effort on their offspring come out with all this crap and their dear little offspring then use it to ‘beat’ up our children JR got exactly the same ‘never get a job etc’ from a ‘friend’ not long back.

  2. Ali said

    Oh Joyce that’s horrible, I have so much respect for Hannah for how she dealt with it. And you too. It just seems so wrong that it should be so easy for unpleasant kids to bully others at a group like Guides, which presumably has a pretty high-value mission statement or principles and where adult supervision only has to be on the ball for a couple of hours, surely?
    Good luck to Hannah with whatever happens next, she is indeed bright, brave and smart.

  3. Joyce said

    Well, Christine has just phoned, and it turns out SHE has had a sleepless night about it as well, and has written to the parents of the ringleader telling them that that child can’t return to guides, as her behaviour is unacceptable. She says that the incident with Hannah is the last of a long line of other stuff, which the parnet’s hven’t dealt with, so she has decided to do something she hasn’t done in 25 years of leading guides. I’m slightly taken aback at the speed with which she has done this, and so pleased that she has taken such affirmative action for Hannah’s sake.

  4. nic said

    Joyce that’s awful but well done to the Guide Leader for dealing with it properly. D has had an issue at Beavers although it has not been directed at him, just all the other children getting pushed about and verbally abused by one other child with the support of one other. I went in to talk to the Beaver Leader about it and she admitted it was a problem but took it no further. I waited a bit open mouthed for her to outline what action she would take but she wasn’t forthcoming.

    Well done on your own self restraint for not storming in there and ‘dealing with it’ yourself – I know I struggled with not grabbing the child in the car park. But as Elaine has said it comes from the parents or their own school experience rather than it being a ‘bad child’, although by H’s age you’d think kids would know what is right and wrong instead of just duplicating behaviour they’ve seen others demonstrating which is what I think happenes at D’s Beavers.

    Hopefully that is the end of the issue. xxx

  5. Roslyn said

    Well done to all. Christine sounds fab! School ignored Pea’s bullying so I admit I dealt with it by getting the child and telling them off right in front of their parents.

    Give H our love today xxx

  6. Allie said

    That’s horrible – little beasts. It’s good that the Guide leader acted so promptly. Hopefully H can put the bullying behind her and enjoy it now.

  7. Sarah said

    Nightmare. But glad the resolution came quickly and you don’t have to worry about it any more. And I hope that without the ringleader the others won’t carry on, I guess that’s the only thing I’d still be concerned about.

  8. Elaine said

    That is a fantastic response from the leader . Good luck Hannah hope things now revert to norm.

  9. Elizabeth said

    Sorry you have all had to deal with that–but glad it has been dealt with by the leader.

  10. Layla said

    Bloody hell! That’s horrendous 😦

  11. jax said

    you know the thing that leapt out at me was how wonderful that she’s got to the age of 10 without an understanding of all the different ways of being bullied…

    I’m glad that it’s being dealt with so decisively, and hope that it doesn’t spoil guides for her ongoing.

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